Posted by: meganberni | November 5, 2009

Home is Where You Hang Your Blue Tree!

My Tree

So it is official, I am in my own place for the first time in my life and I am turning the big 30 in a few days. Vegas celebration soon to follow and I can’t wait!

Change, I can never escape it no matter how hard I try.  Maybe in my 30s I should work towards acceptance.  Clearly not one of my strong suits.

The restaurant is calming down a bit from the hustle and bustle of all the leaf watchers who flooded the streets waiting for that right moment when the reds popped!

Working on a new menu for the early winter season.  I have been given the opportunity to come up with some new hot app ideas. Thought I would list a few and get some feed back of any sorts from my respectable colleges.  I have been trying to stay true to the ingredients and keeping things on a clean line, yet still having a bit of complexity.

Recently I ran a fish special that went over very well.  I thought my good buddy D would have appreciated this one. Fall was definitely in the air.

Pan Seared NC Striped Bass, Vanilla scented Sweet Potato Puree and Crystalized Ginger, Rutabaga Hash (granny smiths, Benton’s bacon, red onions, garlic, swiss chard stems, herbs), Orange Brown Butter, and Cinnamon Pecans w/ brussel leaves for garnish

A few of my apps

Seared Scallops, Benton Bacon and Three Onion Marmalade, Sun Dried Tomato Fondu, Sorrel, Filo Shreds

House Made Merguez Meatballs, Persimmon Chutney, Black Pepper Pecorino, pistachios

Five Spice Dusted Pork Belly, Miso Caramel, Mustard Green and Soynut Relish

Vadouvan and Orange Glazed Laughing Bird Shrimp, Curry Parsnip Puree, Buttered Bread Crumbs

I was thinking of adding some calamari to the meat balls not sure suggestions on all greatly appreciated.

I am slowly getting back into the creative stream and it is feeling good.  It has been a long while and I am enjoying that natural high you get when you start letting your mind go and the words are flying on the paper.  Now I just need to make sense of it all and keep on the right track.

I have started working on a small side project for Asheville and I am finally starting my business plan for my own place.  Maybe my 30s is where it is at yo!

Enjoy the Day in Peace! 

Oh one last thing- Does anyone have a comment on adding something to a dish for the sake of color.  Do you think that all colors should be represented on a dish? Just wondering.

Posted by: meganberni | October 11, 2009

October 11th 2009 I Celebrate My Independence

So today use to have three pretty special meanings to me in my life, but as of now this day will only represent my late granddaddy’s birthday and that is it.w

Actually if things were “normal” I would be in Mexico right now for a surprise celebration. Guess the surprise was on me and let me tell you how fun it was getting my money back for that trip.  I do want to thank Mindy for all her help.

This time last year my heart was exploding with what I thought one of the greatest days of my life. I made real promises to a person I thought truly existed, but I was hugely mistaken.

I looked forward to building my life with this person, I had goals and dreams to share and build with the so called “love of my life.”

Memories that I kept right in the center of my heart, guarded so proudly and happily, so ready to share the stories of us with our kids, and to smile and laugh about them together as we grew through our life.

Now these so called memories have left my heart and are stuck in limbo, hovering over me, trapped in a dark stormy cloud, that one by one I am releasing forever.   Like being a child, clutching that thin string tied to the end of a joyful balloon, yet something inside you is yelling let it go.  Your heart races as your grip slowly loosens.  Up, up, up it goes until out of sight out of mind.  OUT OF MIND!

 This I can say has been the hardest part of my life ever.  I have experienced a tremendous amount of lose of some of the most important people in my life, in a very short period of time. Over the past few months I have done a lot of soul searching.  Finding out who I am what I am here for and the never answered question of why. Understanding that it is not just about me.  Trying to figure out why I had to meet this person in the first place.  I was minding my own business, why did I call back?

My family and friends have been unbelievable and I owe them my forever appreciation and heart.  I have found so much strength in hearing my mom laugh, spending a lot of truck time with my dad, watching my niece play soccer, and teaching my other niece how to walk. As well as my little girl Maybel. I can assure you I would not be standing today without them.  I have read some very soul opening books as well on my journey. I  highly recommend them to everyone especially the first one I listed ( The Anatomy of the Spirit, Eat Pray Love, The Shack)

I have traveled to several states and taken in some amazing sights, ate great food, drank until I was definitely merry, met incredible people, found out that going blond does make for some craziness, over indulged in bad reality tv, and had several shoulders to lay my head. My friends and family are heroes for they have soaked up several wasted tears.

What is next on my journey for I can not wait.  I have put the cool lead to the crisp pure white paper and started the rhythmic sounds of the new chapters. I am working at a restaurant called The Market Place in Asheville, NC.  I am also going to be working on a few local farms.  Learning the ropes and preparing for my life long goal.  I am so much closer.

So, I know I am rambling on, but as of today, no more looking in the past.  The great sadness is gone.  Like Marge Simpson says, it’s my time to shine.

Today I am taking back control of my life and my emotions. Rebirth, new outlooks, my life starts today. I realize, like Alice, everything makes sense in a nonsensical way! Even if it causes the ache heart and physical pain.  I WILL BECOME A BETTER PERSON FROM ALL THIS!

We tend to give more importance to chaos than blessings. We think about what we don’t have, not what we do have. Or who doesn’t love us, not who does.

Today, realize what/who you have. Embrace it!

Posted by: meganberni | September 13, 2009

To Whom It Concerns

I use to think or I guess I use to believe in the thought of having a soul mate.

Soul mate, in reality is just another fucked up fairy tale, make believe bull shit that means absolutely nothing.

I want to keep the dream alive that no matter what or who or how much time comes between two lobsters, they will always find their way back to each other in the tank.  Yeah Megan, keep that gnawing away at your stomach.  What another fucked up waste of thought.

Reality, the only “fair” I believe in now is that is what you pay to get on a bus. That is a period.

I want to erase all the memories for they were built on lies and false hope. I go through them daily, it is amazing all the littlest things I remember.  Please go away.  I wonder how they were so easy for others to just throw away. Am I that weak?

Where do I go from this point.  How does one trust again, let alone love again?  How does anyone let go? Even when you know how toxic a person can be.

I feel sorry for people who do not know what it is to love.  Who can not trust themselves, let alone look past themselves. How was I so blind I let that slip by?

This place that I am trapped in is very dark and very cold.  Where did my drive, my passion go.  Food, it has always fueled my fire. When will it consume my brain again?

I do not know who reads these lame post that I put out, (sorry, i will make them better soon) but I ask of you to give any advice you have please.  I am putting myself out there, so that I can reclaim myself.

Fuck the lobster, lets eat it.

but…………………

Posted by: meganberni | September 8, 2009

Go Ask Alice When She is Ten Feet Tall

Thought

It’s Always A Good Idea to Believe Six Impossible Things Before Breakfast.  That Takes Practice, Too.  And One Should Practice At Least a Half-Hour a Day.  In Fact, Playing Takes Practice. Those Who Haven’t Practice-ed Can’t Play.  They Forgotten-ed!

-Lewis Carroll

 

( Have I??)

 

It my sound pathetic but the lobster will always find you in the tank… you know with the claws….

Patty Griffin-When It Don’t Come Easy :
Red lights are flashing on the highway
I wonder if we’re gonna ever get home
I wonder if we’re gonna ever get home tonight
Everywhere the waters getting rough
Your best intentions may not be enough
I wonder if we’re gonna ever get home tonight

But if you brake down
I’ll drive out and find you
If you forget my love
I’ll try to remind you
And stay by you when it don’t come easy

I don’t know nothing except change will come
Year after year what we do is undone
Time keeps moving from a crawl to a run
I wonder if we’re gonna ever get home

You’re out there walking down a highway
And all of the signs got blown away
Sometimes you wonder if you’re walking in the wrong direction

But if you brake down
I’ll drive out and find you
If you forget my love
I’ll try to remind you
And stay by you when it don’t come easy

So many things that I had before
That don’t matter to me now
Tonight I cry for the love that I’ve lost
And the love I’ve never found
When the last bird falls
And the last siren sounds
Someone will say what’s been said before
Some love we were looking for

But if you brake down
I’ll drive out and find you
If you forget my love
I’ll try to remind you
And stay by you when it don’t come easy

Posted by: meganberni | May 12, 2009

 

Let your hook be always cast; in the pool where you least expect it, there will be a fish.”
–Ovid, Roman poet

Big Change is on the way for me. I will keep you posted. Now there will be plenty more to write about. Enjoy each day, take it for what it is and nothing more. Peace and Love to all!

Posted by: meganberni | March 26, 2009

What the “F” …I am in Heaven mmmmmmmm

lardcake_dv_20090303172405

Yes this is a lard and bacon cake

Posted by: meganberni | March 26, 2009

I’ve Got the Fever

Spring is nature’s way of saying, ‘Let’s party!’ ”
Robin Williams,

Lets EDUCATE the World!! It is the duty of ALL leaders in this business to do her/his best to lead the culinary path in the most healthy, humanly and informative manner for our dinners and their children.  For the sake of all life (Animals Definitely Included). Here are some cuts from a Great Article to read. Thank you Leslie Cole

What’s your beef? by Leslie Cole, The Oregonian Tuesday February 17, 2009, 12:05 AM

Grass fed? Grain finished? Organic? Free-range? How do you know, and what does it mean?

Plenty of consumers are looking for more healthful, responsibly raised beef and are willing to pay a premium for it, but they may not be buying what they think they’re buying. Is it organic? Grass-fed? And do any of these “green” terms really mean that the cow led a happy life frolicking in a local farmer’s field?  Thanks to confusing marketing terms, we might think we know, but often we don’t.

School is in session.

LESSON NO. 1
All beef is grass-fed, but very little is true “grass-fed beef.”
That’s because all cattle eat grass, at least for the first few months of life. But to call a steak “grass-fed” and comply with the American Grassfed Association and the USDA Agricultural Marketing Service’s official definition, the animal must only eat mother’s milk, grass or hay for its entire life. This takes more time, and more land, so relatively few folks are doing it.

By comparison, most U.S. mass-produced beef cattle leave the pasture by 6 months of age to live out their lives in a feed yard or feedlot, where they’re fattened up quickly on high-calorie grain. So-called “naturally raised” beef is a hybrid: They spend more of their lives on the range, but at 14 months of age, they, too, head to a feedlot to eat grain for three to six months; this allows for more-marbled meat, producers say.

It’s up to you to decide which you prefer, but here are three questions to ask if you want true grass-fed beef: Did the animal eat any grain? Was it 100 percent grass-fed? Was it grass-finished, or grain-finished (translation: What did it eat during those final months of fattening)?

LESSON NO. 2
Most grass-fed beef lives out its life on the range, but some goes to a feed yard (where it eats hay, not grain).
“The thing people want when they get grass-fed beef is that bucolic cow on green grass,” says Carrie Oliver, whose Oliver Ranch Web site (www.oliverranch.com) is dedicated to preaching truths about artisan beef and steering shoppers to top producers. “(A feed yard) is not necessarily bad,” Oliver says. “It’s just not what people expect.”

LESSON NO. 3

“Natural” means nothing.
Love the idea of cattle romping in open pastures and munching on special, additive-free grains? “Natural” doesn’t get you there. On food packaging, “natural” simply means the meat product contains no artificial ingredients, and that it was minimally processed. In other words, the steak wasn’t pumped up with a sodium solution to make it more tender.

“Naturally raised,” on the other hand, indicates a set of practices ranchers and beef companies have followed with their beef cattle. But exactly what it means depends on the brand.

“Right now the majority of claims on naturally raised animal products are defined by the individual company,” says Billy Cox, spokesman for the USDA’s agricultural marketing service. “It depends on the company what their definition of ‘natural’ is. That’s confused a lot of people in the marketplace.”

Under most brands, it means no hormones given to animals, no antibiotics and an all-vegetarian diet. Ranchers supply documentation and sign affidavits to become part of such groups as Country Natural Beef or Niman Ranch, and USDA has the authority to audit the paperwork.

A nationwide standard is on the way: USDA just wrote rules, though they’re not yet in effect, outlining requirements for using the term “naturally raised.” To use the marketing claim, producers must raise animals without added hormones and most antibiotics, and feed 100 percent vegetarian rations (no animal proteins).

One thing that lots of “green” beef eaters don’t know is that most “naturally raised” animals spend three to six months in feedlots, which are thought by many to be a source of environmental, worker-safety and animal welfare problems. But again, the picture is nuanced.

Oregon’s midsize operations have more space per cow and better living conditions for animals than the industry norm. Betty Fussell, author of the new book “Raising Steaks” (see accompanying story), spent time at dozens of feedlots around the nation, including Beef Northwest Feeders in Boardman, and concludes that those “in the right location and on the right scale can be run humanely and soundly. If they are not an ideal way to fatten cows, neither are they in themselves the devil’s work. The details matter.”

LESSON NO. 4
There are no, or few, guarantees.
Proponents of organic food scored a huge victory when USDA’s national organic program passed, with uniform standards for producers and certifying agents verifying producers’ claims.

But guess what? Most “naturally raised” beef — the lion’s share of the green market — isn’t certified by an outside party. Despite the pending USDA regulation governing the term “naturally raised,” producers only need submit adequate paperwork to make the claim — there’s no requirement for third-party verification.

Beef producers can pay for certification with inspections by independent groups, such as the Portland-based Food Alliance, or Humane Farm Animal Care, but many opt not to because of the cost.

That doesn’t mean ranchers are trying to break the rules; in fact, it’s in their best interest to pursue practices that keep animals and the land healthy.

“There are all these people who are trying to scratch out a living in central and eastern Oregon,” says Brett Meisner, sales consultant with SP Provisions, which sells Cascade Natural Beef, a brand that works with about 10 Oregon and Washington ranches. “They’re doing great stuff, and they don’t get credit for it.”

If you’re skeptical, do some homework. Go to a farmers market and talk to a rancher. Check out the Web sites. Call and ask questions.

LESSON NO. 5
Beef is like wine.
Finally, let’s not make assumptions about taste. Beef is much more complex than marbling, natural or organic.

“It’s a heckuva lot more like wine,” says Oliver, who hosts blind tastings of artisan beef for groups around the country. “There are other things that influence taste besides marbling.”

Breed, diet, stress on animals, regional differences and aging have much to do with taste, which can be all over the spectrum, and all still good.

One common misconception is that grass-finished beef is too lean to taste good. “If it’s been well-raised and aged well, you can have absolutely delicious, full-flavored meat,” Oliver says. “And I think that surprises people.”

Oliver suggests looking past vagaries on the label, doing your homework and finding producers you can trust.

In the conventional cattle system, it’s all about marbling (USDA grade) and yield. Now that we have more beef options, we should explore them, even if it means doing a little more work to find what you want.

“The truth is, there’s a lot of natural variety,” Oliver says. “If we can find a way to celebrate that, we’ll be better off.”

Leslie Cole: 503-294-4069; lesliecole@news.oregonian.com; blog.oregonlive.com/extrahelpings

What do the labels mean?

Here are commonly accepted definitions of terms found on meat labels.

To learn more about what’s behind specific brands or certification programs, check Consumer Reports’ eco-labels center: www.greenerchoices.org/eco-labels

Grass-fed: Though all cows eat grass for a portion of their lives, true grass-fed beef eats only grass or hay for the duration of its life. For ranchers who rear cattle on grass, it’s not just about food, it’s a philosophy, encompassing range management and holistic raising of animals. Asking for “grass-finished” or “all grass fed” is the best way to find this type of beef.

Grass-fed, grain-finished: Common practice for “naturally raised” beef, where cattle spend up to a year on pasture before going to a feed yard to eat corn or another vegetarian ration for fattening and extra marbling.

Naturally raised: Implies no hormones added to feed, no antibiotics administered and 100 percent vegetarian feed, and that cattle had access to pasture for a bigger portion of its life than commercial beef.

Organic beef: Beef that grazes on pasture that’s certified organic and eats only certified organic grains. You won’t find much Certified Organic beef at the meat counter, partly because of the shortage and expense of organic grain and the cost of certification, which some producers don’t want to shoulder or pass on to customers.

Free-range: A term usually applied to poultry. The corollary for cattle is “pasture-raised,” meaning livestock spends many months on pasture, as opposed to conventional beef that spends much of its life in confined feeding operations.

Vegetarian diet: Feeding rations did not contain ground-up animal parts.

No antibiotics, no added hormones: Antibiotics and growth hormones are feed additives in conventional beef operations. If this is your issue, ask producers if theirs is a “never, never” program, meaning the animal hasn’t been given growth enhancers or antibiotics at any point in its life. Some programs interpret “none” as nothing given 120 days before slaughter.
USDA Prime, Choice, Select: A measure of intramuscular fat or marbling, with Prime having the most, Select the least.

Dry aged: The traditional process of placing a whole carcass in a refrigerated room and allowing enzymes to break down muscle fibers and develop flavor. Done by only a handful of producers and butchers.

Wet aged: Beef vacuum-packed in heavy plastic held at 34 to 38 degrees for seven to 28 days. Meat becomes more tender, but flavor isn’t as concentrated as with dry aging.

– Leslie Cole

Posted by: meganberni | January 26, 2009

Where Have I Been???

Enough Said………..

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